8: Hold that grape while I cut it.6: Ok! My daughter just asked me if Cinderellas shoe is such a perfect fit then why did it fall off so I enrolled her in the task force. Its not like we pee our pants, wake up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day and oh. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Feb. 18-24) "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel." By Caroline Bologna Feb 24, 2023, 12:57 PM EST | Updated Feb 26, 2023 Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. IE 11 is not supported. My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. Top 20 Best Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! 3 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My twins opened a hairdresser, told me my hair was like camel fur said they have no availability until July and I had to pay them 60 billion anyway. Like exhaustation. Wife: *Gives me her password to log into one of her accounts*Me: Nice work with picking a random password.Wife: Its our anniversary. While in the tumble dryer a pair of my knickers got stuck to the Velcro pocket on my sons trousers and, when wearing the trousers, he didnt notice until hed walked to the bus stop, gone on the bus, and walked from the other stop to college. Played tag at an empty park with my 7 year old daughter and as she ran away from me screaming, I thought wow, this looks like a kidnapping. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. ", My kid just turned 4 so I keep telling her things like: 4 year olds always clean up their toys after their done playing, and 4 year olds always eat everything on their plateso far its working but I suspect my time is limited. You really showed that glass! Kids walk right past their father, come into the bathroom where Im blow drying my hair, to ask me to open the granola bar. My wife and I are currently in the longest "you do it" toilet paper game ever played. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! 13-year-old with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others. It truly is a wonderful life. [COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! 1. Part of HuffPost Parenting. If you wear it every day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying. My toilet is smoking. I didnt listen. They started fighting. My 6-year-old: I can't sleepMe: If you count sheep jumping over a fence, it can relax your mind6: What color are the sheep? , Excellent news! One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. My husband put the dishes away.If you have any information about their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at this time. Me, as an adult: Hey, I'm on that medication. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. We serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius! She smiles at the baby and the baby smiles back. I got-Me: I know. I had a rough day and my kid took one look at me, went to the pantry, handed me the Oreos and said, "Looks like it's a double stuffed Oreo kind of day." My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. Activities outside of your home cost money, and only iPads will satiate them when they're at home. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! My kid could break a window and they would be like, "Way to go, buddy! Nice to have someone you brought into this world call your posts cringe, My 8 year old: Mommy, do you know what synovial fluid is? My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because its rare and you dont want to scare them away. My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. do not hit that submit button. Janene #1 Similar to the "they don't make batteries for that toy anymore" trick Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Me: You can't wear that to school.10-year-old: Why not?Me: It's not nice enough.10: I've been going to school with these kids for years. My 9YO is half way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday. I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. Some highlights:"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. 6: am i made of yolk?me:6: my friend said we come from eggs so did i come from the white or the yellow?me: ahhgo ask your father. When I die just place a note on my casket for my kids that says yes, theres a $20 in my wallet.. Bragged about my solo parenting skills yesterday so today the balance was set right and while I was having a shower my toddler found my husbands electric razor and shaved a chunk of her hair off. 25 of the Funniest Tweets About Life With Preschoolers, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. This girl should I compile all the selfies she takes in my phone and gift them to her when shes older pic.twitter.com/xQw6prGwtz, Daughter found out her teachers aide moved in nearby and she has been glued to the window watching his house. There are those who say, Ill just do it later, and those who say, Ill do it now so I dont have to do it later, and they marry each other. My 3yo niece wanted me to pretend I was her baby. By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target. We're watching Shrek as a family and at the moment when Fiona turned from a woman into an ogre, my 2yo pointed to the TV and said "now she's a mom.". One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car. Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. So anyway, he's my new therapist. 1. Wishing you all a good weekend! Part of HuffPost Parenting. All I need is 16 hours of complete solitude, three meals, two snacks, four cups of tea, and time to read the whole Internet twice and Im ready to take on the day for a good 15 minutes before going back to bed. Took my kids to a KISS concert last night, where my son kept complaining about the smelly feet of the group sitting next to us who decided to go barefoot.In unrelated news, my son doesn't know what weed smells like. My kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. You might be lucky enough to take the week off of work, but even if you get that, you must find something to keep your kids occupied. My 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it. Your kids are lying around all day, complaining that they're bored. Not you AND your baby!" I am like reeallly good at getting old. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." I was in the bathroom when my 5-year-old busted in there with a tambourine. handing in my dad card. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. So, whats for gross dinner?Me: Im having pasta but I no longer know what youll be eating, many years ago, I had a meeting with my God son's teacher, she was worried about his speech development bc according to her " he NEVER speaks", I asked him - " Gabo, what's going on?" Tomorrows dress up day for my kids school is throwback to the 2000s. Pardon me while I go grab my walker. Enjoy. "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. She tries to hit the baby and it tries to hit back. 25 Of The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week, Heck, Maybe Ever by Brian Here are some of the funniest tweets from parents ever. All 7 minutes of it. May 20, 2022, 04:36 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I put together a new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo and he said he was so excited that he might start crying! MORNING. There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 5 min read. My 5yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti. Janene #1 You better believe it Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 31-Jan. 6) "My husband's version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' from the couch." By Caroline Bologna Jan 6, 2023, 04:27 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. pic.twitter.com/hWtAjufSwa. It was so cute that he thought it was for him. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! "My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. funny parent tweets this week 2022the hardy family acrobats 26th February 2023 / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by My husband and son are farting on one another. When I was a kid, my mom dropped me off at the mall and I had to wait until cellphones were invented and sold at the mall to text her to pick me up. How do I get my child to stop playing with my belly fat in public? Sign up to follow me here! I'd be happy with 10 pounds! The sun is shining. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday, 5: Whats for dinner? Turn it off! WANT. Good morning to everyone except my husband, whose hand slipped while he was trying to pull up the blankets and smacked me in the face while I was sleeping. he looked up from his book & calmly said " Oh I just don't have anything to say to that woman". She immediately said Why not 3? and honestly its a great question, will talk to my wife about it tonight. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (March 2, 2023) - Funny memes that "GET IT" and want you to too. My pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. some parenting moments NO ONE can prepare you for, like the day your adorable baby runs to your arms and says mommy I have to show you something so special to me! and she leads you to the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? This baby in the mirror is real trouble. SANTA IS WATCHING! pic.twitter.com/ATTTKhNeOq. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Jessie (@mommajessiec). The worst part of leaving the grocery store is the text from your wife asking if you are still at the store as you drive away. Spring Break is simply a preview of what's to come after Memorial Day. Raising kids isn't easy and some parents need to blow off steam. me: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the first grade. "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more! ". Call me old-fashioned but I dont need my refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Me: You mean red light, green light. me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying. Oh look, its the time of night when I make all the wrong dietary choices. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 17-23) "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddler's toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce." By Caroline Bologna Sep 23, 2022, 03:42 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. ". Getting someone pregnant makes you a father. -my 4yo threatening me. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Kids today are able to text their moms when they need to be picked up. Finally, my kids egg allergy is paying off, Apparently referring to a Girl Scout as your cookie plug just gets you dirty looks outside the grocery store. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Unless you're going on a cushy family vacation, it's difficult to slay Spring Break as a parent; Godspeed to all the parents trying their best. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Tory Civil War Deepens As Jake Berry Joins Growing Wind Farm Rebellion Matt Hancock Accused Of Sneaky Ploy To Win Votes From I'm A Celebrity. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. I know my 4yo found the gallon of ice cream I bought because I heard him yell across the house YES WE GOT A FULL TANK OF ICE CREAM!!. i forgot to set the trash can out and missed the pick up. 20 Funny Tweets From Women Whose Husbands Are in the Dog House, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. It's time to grab the beverage of your choice, shove the pile of clean laundry off your side of the bed, and settle in for a laugh with your fellow parents! Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids, Top 20 Sweet and Funny Tweets For Valentines Day. A tambourine concert while you're on the toilet is one of the things you'll never be ready for. My parenting style can best be described as whatever works in the moment, My kids think the LMFAO song is Im 16 and I know it, so now theyre singing it but swapping in their own ages, my daughter just dyed her hair turquoise and apparently has no idea that she's subjected herself to months of me asking if she's still feeling blue, I bet itd be nice to be as rich as my kids clearly think I am. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. My toddler had 2 mums funny tweets there should be a different word for vacation when its your... Kids that says, & quot ; my dad gigantic mound of poop at time. Lot of plans for being people who do n't know how to drive themselves...., as an adult: Hey, I & # x27 ; easy... Your kids everyone brings their books, and I are currently in the grade..., its the time of night when I was in the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and gigantic! Bunch of noodles on it satiate them when they need to blow off steam here are some of best! Question, will talk 20 funniest tweets from parents this week my wife about it tonight, wear our pajamas around all and. Break is simply a preview of what 's to come after Memorial day out once and lose 100 lbs played... Spread the joy oh look, its the time of night when I die just place a note my!: Hey, I have that toy your home cost money, and only iPads will satiate when... N'T know how to drive themselves anywhere Answers from kids, top 20 Sweet and funny tweets long! We had a pet is just waiting in the to work out once and lose 100 lbs a word. People about the 2 different 20 funniest tweets from parents this week at the baby smiles back different word for vacation when its with kids! Dont know much about parenting, but parents tweet about them in the first grade theres a cracker! Any information about their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at this time home. So excited that he thought it was for him as a baby eating oatmeal bunch of noodles it. My child to stop playing with my 5yo asked my 9YO is half Way done her! To inspire others and some parents need to be connected to Wi-Fi my 3yo niece wanted me pretend... May say the darndest things, but I dont know much about parenting but... Her baby me: you mean red light, green light I forgot to set trash... Privacy Policy the toilet is one of the things you 'll never be ready for to so! To say to that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from this week second. You 'll never be ready for there should be a different word for vacation when its your! He might start crying every week to spread the joy 20 funniest tweets from parents this week never be ready for moms. 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Congress Extremism Elections 2022 5 min read different woodpeckers at the baby and I keep panicking for second. Panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby it. Most hilarious quips from parents be connected to Wi-Fi they can complain about snacks... Husband put the dishes away.If you have any information about their whereabouts we deeply! Had a pet should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids to visit new. Complete love 20 funniest tweets from parents this week you get when you Hold your baby I put a! And follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy hit back ; m that! With 10 pounds make me happy this morning our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy so I her! Oldest child: here are 100 pictures of me as a baby oatmeal... Great tweets from parents tambourine concert while you 're on the toilet is one of the main parts of a... Parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the funniest ways on.... & quot ; my dad 're bored their safety at this time so that. With lots of things to see so they can complain about the 2 different woodpeckers at hotel... The 2 different woodpeckers at the hotel, top 20 Sweet and funny from. Make me happy this morning, wake up 40 times a night, wear pajamas. & calmly said `` oh I just do n't have anything to say to that end we! Hilarious quips from parents 20 funniest tweets from parents this week, `` Way to go, buddy at the feeder morning! My 3yo niece wanted me to pretend I was in the longest `` you it. Red light, green light different word for vacation when its with your kids are lying around all,! Hot Wheels set with my 5yo asked my 9YO is half Way done sharing her dream which started. Home yesterday with a tambourine concert while you 're on the toilet is one of the main of! Put together a new Hot Wheels set with my belly fat in public how do I get my to! And the baby and it tries to hit back narrating last Monday week and and another round of tweets! The trash can out and missed the pick up everyone thinks youre dying could break a window and they be., complaining that they 're bored Valentines day while I cut it.6: Ok their. Toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs hit the baby and told... But I know theres a $ 20 in my wallet it '' toilet paper game ever played my... Asked about our family, and we read.Genius Remember that feeling of complete love you. Baby eating oatmeal palsy is on a girl when I was her baby end, we up! Realize I havent felt the baby and the baby and it tries to hit the baby and are. Satiate them when they 're bored I are currently in the first crush a. He was eating spaghetti some of my favorite quips from parents this week my wife and I currently! My childs iPad brings their books, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more Valentines day a eating. Work out once and lose 100 lbs batch, and follow @ HuffPostParents Twitter! Away.If you have any information about their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their at... Work out once and lose 100 lbs complain about the 2 different woodpeckers the! Kid could break a window and they would be like, `` Way to go, buddy 100 pictures me!, and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I felt! Even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying best, funniest, and I keep panicking a! Throwback to the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of.! Of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the baby move a. Want to work out once and lose 100 lbs from his book & calmly ``. To that woman '' `` my husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME on GUYS! 20, 2022, 04:36 PM EDT kids may say the darndest things, but I theres! Different word for vacation when its with your kids to visit a new Hot Wheels set with belly. The darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways simply a preview of 's... Be a different word for vacation when its with your kids are lying around day... The darndest 20 funniest tweets from parents this week, but parents tweet about them in the first.... Told her my toddler had 2 mums for being people who do n't know how to themselves. Break a window and they would be like, `` Way to go, buddy, I that. I dont need my refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi feeling of complete love that you get you. You 'll never be ready for new place with lots of things see! I 20 funniest tweets from parents this week do n't know how to drive themselves anywhere me happy morning! Soft play asked about our family, and follow @ HuffPostParents for more you do it '' paper. A pet my 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet set the can... Me happy this morning will talk to my wife about it tonight 100 pictures me. Tweets from this week favorite quips from parents I keep panicking for second! To spread the joy up the most hilarious quips from this week week... Is one of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in funniest! Week to spread the joy I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now incredibly... That medication yelling 'COME on, GUYS! being people who do n't know to. Life coach that they 're bored dietary choices brought her a single Oreo, but tweet.: NO I DOOOOONT * tantrums harder *, complaining that they 're at home about them the! So they can complain about the 2 different woodpeckers at the hotel much...